application } ataraxion.

P L A Y E R   I N F O R M A T I O N
Your Name: Samm
OOC Journal: neveryourmuse
Under 18? If yes, what is your age?: 25
Email + IM: neverrryourmask @ gmail, nneveryourmaskk @ aim
Characters Played at Ataraxion: Charles Xavier, Caprica Six

C H A R A C T E R   I N F O R M A T I O N
Name: Jaime Lannister
Canon: A Song of Ice and Fire
Original or Alternate Universe: OU
Canon Point: Midway Storm of Swords, or also, season three, episode ten, "Mhysa". Specifically, the moment he goes to see Cersei since returning to Kingslanding.
Number: RNG me.

Setting: Jaime hails from Westeros, one of three continents in the Known World (of four land masses). The setting is a fantastical feudal medieval setting, and Westeros is a country fraught with civil war and divided into Seven Kingdoms. When it is not in total political turmoil, it customarily has one king of the Iron Throne in the capital of Kingslanding, which, at the time of Jaime's canonpoint, is held by his bastard son, Joffrey Baratheon (believed to be the son of Robert Baratheon). There are other men that claim kingship; Robb Stark declared independence for the North after their leader, Lord Eddard Stark, was executed by the ruling family, and Balon Greyjoy also attempted to declare independence of his realm, the Iron Islands. In the event of the prior king's death and the rumours surrounding Joffrey's elgitimacy, Renly Baratheon and Stannis Baratheon are also making claims to kingship. Thus, the War of the Five Kings. Some of them are dead.

The above makes for a dangerous country to be in. Peacetime is over and the war mapped varied battles across the country. Poverty is at an extreme, with even the royal family in crippling debt. Harsh societal sensibilities make for a desensitisation to things like murder and rape and theft -- politics and law is dictated by the sword. Although this is a fantasy genre, emphasis on magic and mysticism is a very light presence in the day to day, focusing mainly on the horrors humanity can bring unto itself.

The presence of magic is held in the existence of dragons, in prophecy, and in the coming winter when the dead walk again, led by beings known as White Walkers, but by and large, this fantasy elements are the stuff of myth and legend or something that has been and gone. Or are on their way back.

( content warnings for: incest, childhood sexual experimentation. mentions of rape, murder, dismemberment, albeism. game of thrones, really. )

History: Jaime is the eldest son of Tywin Lannister, born to Lady Joanna along with his twin, Cersei. Joanna was not a woman that Jaime ever got to know -- by his fourth year,* she had died during childbirth producing his little brother, Tyrion, who was born with dwarfism. These two incidents were, of course, connected in the hearts and minds of those close to the family (and those not so close), and were seen as two tragedies. It was Cersei that grew into a certain hatred of their little brother, punishing him in small and mean ways to make him cry, but it was not a loathing Jaime shared.

* I am using ages depicted in the show, as it is the most accessible of the two mediums, and corresponds with the actors being used by the cast in game and myself. Instead of being nine years older than Tyrion, Jaime is four years older, etc.

While they were both still children, Cersei and Jaime developed an experimentally sexual relationship, and were eventually caught by a servant. They were forcibly separated, with Jaime moved to the other side of the castle, and by the time he was eleven, he was sent away to squire for Lord Crakehall.

As a growing boy and eventually a young man, for boys were considered practically men at a startlingly young age, Jaime was anticipated to be heir of the Lannister fortune, an expectation (and entitlement) he shared. He would never be a scholar, so sayeth onlookers, but he quickly proved himself as a young and fierce warrior, winning his first melee tourney at age thirteen, and being knighted on battlefield at age fifteen. It was also at this age that he returned to his home in Casterly Rock and saw Cersei again, who he had not seen for some time, and learned he was betrothed to Lady Lysa Tully of Riverrun. In a shared plot to remain close to his sister, with whom he once again took up a sexual relationship, and escape this match, Jaime put himself forward for the Kingsguard, and was accepted in a matter of months -- the youngest in history.

This would ensure them both of a few things -- Jaime would never wed, Jaime would never be heir of the Lannister fortune, and they would remain close to one another for as long as Cersei remained at court.

Unfortunately for them both, it turned out that his unlikely induction into the Kingsguard was a slight against Lord Tywin by King Aerys. Bad blood between them moved the king to happily take from Tywin his prized heir, leaving him only with a daughter and a malformed imp of a son. Tywin, furious, left court, taking his family with him, while Jaime was forced to remain at Kingslanding to carry out his oath as a member of the Kingsguard.

His experience as a knight of the Kingsguard in service to Aerys was a miserable one. King Aerys, who would one day be termed the Mad King, proved himself to be unpredictable, cruel, and sadistic. He abused and raped his queen, who Jaime was told he had to protect as well, but not from Aerys. Rebellion, meanwhile, grew around them, under the banner of Robert Baratheon. Many knights were permitted to forsake the white cloak so as to join the king's army, but Jaime was denied this privilege, and it became apparent that he was being kept as a pseudo-hostage, King Aerys fearing that Tywin would turn against him as well. Soon, only Jaime remained as Kingsguard in the capital.

And he was privy to many secrets. He watched as Aerys' fascination with fire devoured his naysayers, and watched as a plan was hatched to stow wildfire (a chemical that easily ignites and keeps burning) all across the city so that if it was lost to rebel forces, then the entire city would be destroyed.

As numerous battles turned the tide of the war in the favour of the rebels, the Lannisters finally gathered their banners and marched for Kingslanding. Tywin had not yet made his position plain, and begged entry into the capital. Once permitted, so began the Sack of Kingslanding. Jaime was ordered to prove his loyalty to the king and bring him his own father's head -- but Jaime was also informed that a man named Rossart, a pyromancer, had been summoned to the throne room. He pursued, slaying Rossart on the way, entering the throne room to find Aerys. There, Jaime committed an act that would define him in the eyes of everyone who knew his name, for the rest of his life -- he slew the King of the Seven Kingdoms.

And he did this, undoubtedly, to prevent the fall of Kingslanding, with fires that would have taken with it half a million civilians and his father's armies. When asked who should be named king, he declared it was all the same to him, took a seat on the Iron Throne, and waited to see who would come to claim it. In the end, Robert Baratheon was named King.

In the coming days, Jaime took it upon himself to kill the last of those involved in the fire plot, and kept the details of such circumstance to himself. He was called Kingslayer by Robert, but permitted to keep his white cloak rather than be banished to the Wall, as many traitors and pettier criminals would have been.

Uniting Baratheon and Lannister, Cersei was wed to Robert. However, in secret, Cersei and Jaime carried out their affair at last, and would do so for the next seventeen years. Together, they had three children: Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen, golden-haired and pure Lannister, for all that the world believed them to be the get of Robert, and thus legitimately royal.

A necessary side story in this time includes an incident in which a still young Jaime experienced with Tyrion. While out riding, they came across a girl who'd been chased by bandits. Jaime took care of the men, Tyrion took care of the girl, in that he slept with her and then wed her in secret. Incensed by the acts of his youngest son, Tywin instructed Jaime to hold fast to the story that he had arranged the woman as a whore for his brother, convincing them that all she wanted was Lannister gold anyway, making her no better than a whore. So it wasn't really a lie! Jaime obeyed, and this led to the group rape (which Tyrion was forced to participate) of the peasant girl. It's a secret of bad behaviour and personal weakness that Jaime has kept ever since.

Cut forward in time. Jaime is thirty-six, when the Hand of the King, Jon Arryn dies. This is still a mystery in canon, although all indicators say that the Lannister twins probably did not have direct hand in his demise. This would be a reasonable suspicion anyway, for it was Arryn's observation and research that endangered him, knowledge that included the illegitimacy of Cersei's children. In the wake of Arryn's death, King Robert leads a procession to Winterfell to visit his friend and ally, Ned Stark, to convince him to take up the title of Hand of the King.

But during this event, Cersei and Jaime are caught during one of their trysts by one of the Stark's littler children, Bran, who had a habit for climbing where he shouldn't. To preserve their secret, Jaime heartlessly and impulsively throws him from the window in a bid to kill him. Bran is, instead, put into a coma, and paralysed for life.

Good job, Jaime.

Arguably, this action, along with the trail of evidence left behind by Jon Arryn that Ned was doomed to pursue, leads to the next gigantic outbreak of civil war throughout the Seven Kingdoms. After an assassination attempt on Bran's life conducted by Joffrey (a hamfisted attempt to put the child out of his misery after hearing his father say someone should), Lady Catelyn Stark takes matters into her own hands and captures Tyrion for his assumed role in this plot. Ned Stark had also received a message that implicated Cersei in the death of Arryn, moving him to take the role of the Hand in order to uncover the truth.

Tyrion's capture is more excuse than reason for the resulting civil war, tensions brewed between Lannister and Stark, but it was Jaime's actions that brings it to flame. He breaks Kingsguard neutrality in confronting Ned Stark over Tyrion, a small battle pursuing between Lannister men and Stark men, with many casualties on both sides. Ned Stark os critically injured and then captured, and Jaime flees Kingslanding to join his father's army, given a host of men to lead. Skirmishes break into war when Joffrey has Ned killed for disloyalty, his eldest son Robb Stark declaring North independence from the Iron Throne, and himself as King.

During a battle named the Battle of the Whispering Wood, Jaime's forces are summarily smashed by Robb's tactical prowess. Despite clearly losing, Jaime puts all his heart into attempting to cut Robb down, slaying men in his path, but is eventually overcome and taken prisoner. He spends a good few months as hostage of the Starks and Tullys, enjoying a few escape attempts here and there, but otherwise kept underfed and in chains while war continues to unfold.

Robb refuses to give up such a valuable hostage, even when Tyrion Lannister swears to deliver back to him his two sisters. Catelyn is both furious and devastated by this decision, and takes it upon herself to free Jaime in the keep of a woman named Brienne of Tarth, who had sworn loyalty to Catelyn after her liege, Renly Baratheon, was killed. Brienne is instructed to deliver Jaime back to the Lannisters, and return with her the two Stark girls.

Their journey is fraught. Jaime is the worst roadtrip companion ever, making frequent remark and insult against Brienne's notably bizarre existence as a woman-knight, although they are forced to rely on one another in order to survive the journey. However, when Jaime spies his chance, he does make an attempt to escape her, leading to a sword fight that ends in them both being captured by a crew of sellswords known as the Brave Companions. They are loyal to a man named Lord Roose Bolton, who has a working allegiance with the Lannisters. However, the leader of the Brave Companions, Vargo Hoat, favours an allegiance with Robb Stark, and winds up maiming Jaime in the hopes the blame would fall on Bolton, and end the allegiance he has with Tywin. That, and just because it was funny to do.

During this time, Jaime's limits are tested, both as a man and as a Lannister. He does not suffer the abuse of Brienne at the hands of the Brave Companions, concocting a story about Tarth being famous for sitting on all of Westeros' supply of sapphires, hence why it is called the Sapphire Isles (as opposed to being named as such for its beautiful coastline), and suggests that Vargo could make himself a small fortune if he leaves Brienne 'unbesmirched' and alive. While Vargo opts to believe him and does as advised, he maims Jaime anyway, and makes a sport of humiliation for the rest of the journey to his Lord's base of operations in Harrenhal.

Once in Harrenhal, Bolton strikes a deal with Jaime -- he will be released under the care of his own Maester, back to Kingslanding, so long as Jaime swears to his father that Bolton was not responsible for his maiming. Jaime agrees, but Brienne is forced to stay behind. Believing that she will be ransomed back to her family -- or making himself believe this is so -- he continues on home. However, the Maester he travels with informs him that no such thing will occur. Brienne's father offered a handsome sum of gold, but Vargo, believing he was being robbed by a man who owned an enormous wealth of diamonds, refused, and opted to make a sport of Brienne instead.

Jaime goes back for her, finding her being put into a bear pit and made to fight for the entertainment of the Brave Companions. He jumps in himself, helping her out of it, and defends her from Vargo by declaring that the only way they'll take Brienne is if they kill him first. Vargo, choosing his battles wisely, lets them go.

Jaime's return to Kingslanding is as though he has come home from his own personal war. What happens next, in this story, will remain a mystery -- he goes to see Cersei, and instead winds up on the Tranquility.

Personality: From the perspective of onlookers, both in his world and our own, Ser Jaime Lannister appears to embody the very definition of a knight in shining armour -- or at least, he used to, but we'll get to that. He was handsome and brave, filthy rich, noble, an excellent jouster, and almost entirely unmatched in his skills with a sword across all Seven Kingdoms. His armour is entirely plated in gold.

Beneath this glossy exterior lies secrets, and distortions, and that's not even touching the fact he sleeps with his twin sister. It is my belief that the series has presented us something of an inversion of the classic hero, a man that is shaped like one, presents as one, touches on themes of honour and heroism while rarely enacting any. The hero model does not fundamentally work, in the world of Westeros, where everything is terrible, and Jaime is no exception.

The Lannisters are known as the string purse of Westeros, almost single-handedly funding the royal family and its expenses, and as the eldest son of such a family, Jaime had everything he could wish for in a society with birthright, name, and wealth count for so much. His personality reflects much of this -- his actions and his words are almost entirely unthinking, as if he never had to worry about personal consequence a day in his life, and this bleeds over into a certain amount of recklessness and assumption. The way he talks is a mix of courtliness as a result of his lot in life, and general obscenity and unkindness, frequent character attacks and casual insult. He is not as sharply sassy as his little brother, nor so calculated in remarks as Cersei, but he is adept at knocking people off-balance verbally, and does so consciously.

Jaime represents a masculine ideal. In the books, he is described as almost kingly (courtesy of Jon Snow) and godlike (courtesy of Brienne) in physicality, but much of his privilege he has since given away by renouncing his claim to his father's titles and inheritance by taking up a White Cloak as Kingsguard. This was a part of a scheme between himself and Cersei to ensure he would not marry another, and allow them to be together (for all that this didn't quite work the way they wanted). In reflection of Cersei, Jaime has almost everything she would want for herself, but cannot have by virtue of being a woman. Where Cersei would probably be ruling the Seven Kingdoms by now, if she were Jaime, Jaime (arguably) squanders it in his love for her, and his own complacancy, lack of ambition, whatever one might call it.

Quite simply, he just doesn't care that much about the game of thrones, or even his personal safety. When one takes up the sword, one expects that they'll die, and much of Jaime is defined by his prowess as a swordsman -- famously known as the best in Westeros. Even when he is at a disadvantage, he displays this attitude -- his mockery while in Stark captivity, his laughter when he is dragged back upon his escape attempt, his using his own presence as a sort of pressure point. Jaime does not literally welcome destruction, perhaps, but he certainly courts it.

This is not simply due to his privilege, however. Jaime has not gone through life unscathed, because on Westeros, no one does. His time as Kingsguard for King Aerys made a definite fundamental change in Jaime, turning carefree recklessness into something similar now edged in bitterness and jadedness. Oaths, honour, and all those knightly things, he now views as just so many words, for all that Westeros society hinges upon them. He was charged to stand by as King Aerys tortured, brutalised, raped his way through innocent men and women. He asked, once, if he was not also sworn to protect the Queen, and the answer was, not from him. When it came time for the Iron Throne to be taken from king Aerys, with sieging forces at the gates of Kingslanding, Jaime slew King Aerys himself in order to prevent a plot that would see the half a million of people in Kingslanding die from destructive fire.

Of course, as a member of a Kingsguard, no matter the circumstance, this was seen as complete and oath-breaking betrayal. In the time after King Aerys' death, Jaime took it upon himself to personally murder those involved in the fire plot, and the secret died with them. He never (not until Brienne) told anyone of the truth behind his actions. He has glimpsed, now, the rotten core on which the Seven Kingdoms stands, and no longer wished to be its active participant. He speaks with disdain of the oaths he swears and their many contradictions, and talks as if he has already renounced them all. Since then, he has been called Kingslayer, rebuke and insult.

It should be noted that this subversion doesn't justify his actions following. Rather than turn his perceptions into something good and constructive, Jaime appears to take it as an excuse to wallow. He took back up his incestuous relationship with his sister, and got with her three children that the kingdom recognised as King Robert Baratheon's litter. His rebellion was not ambitious, because he never has been ambitious, but a private and destructive thing he took on with Cersei, in the dark. This simple act of lovemaking, of love, shook the very foundation of a vastly unstable kingdom, calling into question the legitimacy of kings, undermining it in an obscene way. None of this is something Jaime himself would articulate in this way, but it doesn't escape the fact that this is how he conducted himself ever since.

Not to say that he does not also love Cersei. He does. Their sexual awakening was very young, and Jaime never quite got past her. He has never slept with another woman, has never even been interested in another woman, putting Cersei on a pedestal that is equal parts genuine love and ego. There is nothing healhy about either of them.

Jaime's relationships with other members of his family cast a more redemptive light, but even these are tainted. Of all Lannisters, Jaime has a true fondness for Tyrion Lannister, his little brother who was born with dwarfism. For his disability, Tyrion is widely loathed, feared, and underestimated, especially by his own father, Tywin. Jaime, however, thinks he is hilarious, and smarter than he is, and probably undeserving of the abuse levelled at him for all that Jaime is too busy being Jaime to worry about it over much. This relationship is, however, laden with some baggage -- in specific, Jaime was coerced by his father to lie about a woman that Tyrion tried to marry, claiming she was a whore he arranged himself, and he did this under the impression he was helping Tyrion escape a marriage with a woman who only wanted Tyrion for his money, which made perfect sense!

He knows better, now, but what can you do. Probably nothing!

As for Tywin, he is a contender for World's Worst Dad, but of the three Lannister children, Jaime probably endured the least of his worst. As the eldest son, able bodied, handsome and strong, he was more or less an ideal candidate for favourite. Tywin was still a terrifying father, who thought that the best way to handle Jaime's childhood dyslexia was to drill words lessons into him for three hours a day until he got the hang of it. His parental love is an unforgiving, harsh hand, void of affection, and when Jaime took up the white cloak of the Kingsguard, he was relegated to bitter disappointment. But not as much as Tyrion. Occasionally on level with Cersei. But no child was ever truly good enough.

A consistent theme is that up until recently, Jaime has never been properly called on his behaviours -- much of what makes him so Jaimeish is a secret, such as Cersei, such as his deeds against King Aerys, and what effect this has had on him. It wasn't until he met Vargo Hoat and Brienne of Tarth that Jaime was forced to do a little soul searching.

Something he was confronted with was the value he places on himself as a Lannister and a swordsman. When he attempted to negotiate with Vargo Hoat, and Vargo strung him along, there was no doubt in Jaime's mind that he was succeeding, not until he was bent over a tree stump in preparation for the best musical score in an outro the show has ever given us. Moments before Vargo took from Jaime his swordhand, Vargo made something very clear: daddy wasn't here to save him.

In the aftermath of this trauma, Jaime was continually humiliated at the hands of the Brave Companions, attempts to rescue his own dignity thwarted, and he sunk into a suicidal depression. What makes Jaime an interesting character, to me, is less an elegant layering of jerk tropes over a heart of gold, but an elegant layering of jerk tropes over jerk over more jerk, and the fact he was forced to peel them back himself and find nothing much there.

On the flipside of this experience, there was Brienne. Brienne, who did him the kindness of being unkind, who called him a coward for wanting to die when he could live. With harsh words, she showed him that he could not even lay down and die to escape the truth of himself, that that would only prove Vargo right -- that this is a world where things are taken from you, and if Jaime's response is to "whine and cry", then he truly is as pathetic as the Brave Companions have made him feel. And so he ate, and lived.

In the same way that Jaime is what Cersei would be, given a choice, Brienne encapsulates who Jaime is meant to be, and fundamentally isn't. She is an oathkeeper. She is honourable, and just, and brave. She is the walking, living, breathing depiction of a knight that has somehow managed to exist in this world, and she did it while also being a woman -- a nigh impossible task. His abuse of her is inexcusable and completely typical of the world they live in, and she had heard it all before. They saved each others lives by being decent and good, and when Brienne was in danger of being abused, tortured, and slain for the entertainment of the Brave Companions, Jaime did not do as he would have done before. He went back to get her, because knights rescue maidens.

He is on the cusp of being a better person, but only in the way he perceives his place in the world. This does not equate to atonement, and may never equate to atonement. The Starks are still his enemy, never mind that so much of this conflict began with his casual attempted murder of Bran Stark, and the death of a man who would have revealed his and Cersei's deeds to the world. The things he has done still have their place and their legitimacy in the world, to him, because that's the world they live in, and his signs of self-improvement are still very self-involved and personal.

Still. He is likely to throw less children out of windows.

Where this will take him will now rest on his story in Ataraxion, as he enters the game from a point of longing to see Cersei. In canon, he will go on to fulfil his pledge to Brienne by equipping her with the means necessary to carry out her promises, and there currently exists in him the potential to change. Or stagnate, as the case may be.

Abilities, Weaknesses and Power Limitations: Jaime is an ordinary man, and thus has no superpowers, special immunities, or anything of that nature.

He was known, broadly, as the best swordsman in Westeros, which is probably not actually factually true, but does mean that his prowess with a sword earned him that much second-hand bragging. Jaime has described his sword hand as being so important to him that he practically is that hand, having committed his life to becoming that skill since a young age. When he fights, he takes very obvious enjoyment in it, both depicted in the show and described in the books. It is the best way he knows how to communicate anything, and the most honest he is.

Since his maiming, this skill has taken a sharp turn downwards. He never learned how to fight with his other hand, and although he can maintain some defending and take some swipes, even the most novice of swordsmen would be able to take him down.

Otherwise, he a competent horsemen, and he has a noble's education on local religion and history of Westeros. This will come in really handy on a spaceship.

Inventory:

clothing; the filthy rags he'd been wearing just prior to being taken aboard the Tranquility, and the informal clothing he wore prior and out of armour (tunic, boots, shirt, leather buff jacket)

his sword; a thirty-six inch long blade, a brass plated hilt, a bronze double lions head pommel

a companion dagger.

Appearance: Jaime is played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. He is white, 6'1" and a half, built stocky and big, with a bearing that suggests as such. He is lantern-jawed, golden-haired, and green-eyed, handsome if you're into big clumsy-carved features, his face quick to express, especially grins of various natures. By the time he enters Ataraxion, he will be a bit beardy and a bit lean, muscle depleted with undernourishment and illness, but in time he will resemble his former self and present more militantly clean shaven, as he prefers. His right hand will be missing, but better healed thanks to the effects of the stasis chamber, and some seams where injuries used to be in his face.

Age: 36

AU Clarification: N/A

S A M P L E S
Log Sample:

[ The cold, hard floor beneath his bare feet, soles slipping on sticky puddles of filmy blue fluid. The mud giving under his travel-worn boots, grit and gravel crunching in between. Naked shoulders brushing by his, strangers' faces, no recognition in what eye contact flickers near him. No recognition in the looks dealt his way when those he pushes by in the street manage that much. A country peasant, not Jaime Lannister. Not Kingslayer. Seven Hells, that's almost worse. The light is hard and white and unnatural, hurting his eyes, and his grizzled chin tucks down as he wanders in his daze. The sun is angled over the tops of the city buildings, brilliant and golden in the encroaching winter's early sundowns.

Shivering in the cold. His spine can be counted where it presses against skin and thin muscle, his height diminished in defensive hunch forward.

There is a door.

He reaches with his remaining hand. Cersei.

There was a door.

His hand drops.

This place is so strange that at will, he could almost sink back into the moments before, but something pragmatic and edged in vague contempt for himself kicks him back out into the present. Men and women shambling along, half-dressed, dripping wet as he is, although it seems as though all of them still have their hands. Jaime casts a look down at the abbreviated stump of his sword arm, clasping whole hand over it. Better healed, than he remembers. He must have slept for some time.

He must have. A certain sort of conclusion to come to. The other one being: this is not Kingslanding. ]

Comms Sample:

[ The video clips on to a grainy close up of a face; big nose, big jaw, shadows under his eyes where only one of which is visible, seams of scars, until he notes that he does not--

He does not need to hold it that closely! Apparently. Jaime lists backwards with a winch at his brow, finally achieving the right level of distance and angle so that his image squares better in the tiny mirror-like surface. The image cuts off at the chest, keeping his unused arm folded into his belly and out of sight. ]

From what I've gathered, this place in comparison to that of my homeland is incredibly advanced. I understand that I'm to be considered quaint. For instance, where I'm from, we have guardsmen for our prisons, when obviously we should have simply eliminated the doors.

[ Experimentally, the picture turns on its side. He tilts his head to follow it. ]

But then there's this fascinating bit of logic for you: equip your guests with a magical talking mirror, [ he sounds so unimpressed ] the likes of which some have never seen, and provide instruction for its use made only available by using it. Alternatively, you could piss into the wind.

Actually. [ He considers that, for a second, turning both his head and the communicator upright. ] I don't suppose anyone's managed to venture outside, on that note. Just curious.

[ The video abruptly twists off to stare at the ceiling as he turns it in his hand, thumbing it blank. ]